This story is intended for amusement purposes only. This story is not meant to infringe on the names of Remington Steele, Laura Holt or anything that would cause MTM productions or anybody else to sue me. This story is the property of Lisa Watson ã 2002.
Murphy Michaels
paced rapidly across his office floor. Bernice
Fox took a bite of her sandwich and eyed her friend and fellow co-worker with interest.
“It’s going to cost Laura a fortune to
replace this carpet if you wear a hole in it.”
Murphy instantly stopped his pacing and threw himself
on top of his desk.
“This is crazy Bernice, it would never work! Laura will see right through it,” he said dismally.
“Weren’t you the one that declared it was
time for you to get off the dime and profess your attraction?”
“Yeah but…”
“And Weren’t you the one that stood here
just two days ago and said you were going to take matters into your own hands? Let
the chips fall where they may?”
“I did and…”
“And aren’t you the man that said he was
tired of not getting any…”
Murphy raised his hands up in front of him.
Before Bernice could comment, Laura burst into
Murphy’s office. “Murphy, I need a
husband!”
“Great, join the club,” Bernice said dryly.
“Come again?” he sputtered.
“A husband, I need one. We’ve got a perspective new client, Mrs.
Sandoval; she’s an eccentric, elderly woman that’s got more zeros behind her
than I’ve got hats!”
“Wow, that’s quite a few zeros.”
Laura rolled her eyes. “Bernice, I’m
serious!”
“Mrs. Sandoval, as in Sandoval Resorts? Laura that sounds incredible, but how many resorts
are there?” Murphy asked.
Laura looked at her shoes, a move Bernice and Murphy
knew meant she was hedging.
“Laura,” Bernice
and Murphy said in unison.
“Not many, just…seven.”
“Laura! Are
you kidding? We can’t handle an
account like that. We don’t have the
manpower to...”
“Look, Mrs. Sandoval is thinking of hiring
Remington Steele Investigations to outfit her locations with discreet, surveillance
systems. Apparently a large percentage of the couples that go to Sandoval “Couples Only” Resorts, come home and
file for divorce. She just wants to be
certain someone isn’t guilty of sabotage.”
Murphy looked skeptical. “Oh come on,
I’m sure that’s just a coincidence Laura. You don’t believe
vacationing there has anything to do with people getting divorced do you?”
“Of course I don’t think there’s a
correlation, but they have been getting some bad press about it. The media is calling Sandoval Resorts “A
divorce attorney’s dream vacation." Subsequently, vacation bookings are
down. Come on you two, haven’t we been talking about expanding the agency? This could be our golden opportunity. Do you know how far this job would put the agency
into the black ink Murph? This would give us
the financial backing we need to make our dreams a reality.”
“Or a nightmare,” Bernice added.
Murphy continued to look doubtful.
“I
don’t think this is a good idea Laura. I
mean, if this account is going to throw us into a new tax bracket, what happens if
something, anything goes wrong? And it most
assuredly will.”
“Think positive Murphy, where would we be if we
never took any risks?”
“Speaking of risks, get back to the husband
thing,” Bernice said with interest.
“Oh right, well naturally Mrs. Sandoval wants us
to blend in and what could be more inconspicuous at a couple’s resort than a married
couple? Murphy and I have done this before,
we shouldn’t have any problems,” Laura
said confidently.
“When is it?” Murphy asked.
Laura smiled.
“This weekend?
I can’t do it Laura,” Murphy grimaced.
“What?! What
do you mean you can’t do it? Murphy this
is business, Mrs. Sandoval will be there to sign the contract, it has to be this
weekend!” Laura exclaimed.
“I have plans this weekend that I can’t get
out of, besides, have you forgotten about The Weatherly case? I’m wrapping that up this weekend and I have
to give them our report of findings on Friday.”
“Oh good heavens, I forgot all about that,”
Laura moaned.
“I’m going to hate myself for suggesting
this, but what about Mr. Steele?” Murphy
asked.
Laura wasn’t facing Bernice so she missed her
raised eyebrow.
“Mr. Steele?
I couldn’t possibly ask him,” Laura said quickly.
“Why not? You’ve
masqueraded as a married couple before, remember the Pepplers?”
“Yes, but that was different. This is going to be for an extended period of
time; on location in the Bahamas, not Los Angeles. I’m
going to need a professional investigator on this assignment backing me up, not someone
along that doesn’t have any experience being a detective.”
“Laura, you’ve said yourself how valuable
Mr. Steele is, and has been on several occasions. Wouldn’t you consider now the
perfect time for him to put your money where HIS mouth is?” Bernice smiled.
“No! It
won’t work…I can’t go with him. Besides…he’s
busy at the moment and couldn’t possibly spare the time,” Laura rushed out.
“Busy? Laura
you told him to get lost until we needed him, I’d say that time is now. God, I can’t believe I just said that,”
Murphy shook his head.
Laura looked defensive. “I didn’t say
it like that,”
“Close enough.
So, call him on the Bat Phone and fill him in on his next undercover assignment. Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I’ve got
some things to take care.” Murphy
saluted and left.
“Murphy wait!” Laura yelled at the closed door. Bernice,
see if you can catch him,"
Bernice ran out the door and closed it behind her. "She asked me to catch you,"
"Tell her I already got on the elevator," Murphy said as he was checking his messages.
"You really think it's a good idea putting those two in such close proximity, and having them pose as a married couple?" Bernice laughed.
"Well, it does seem kind of like throwing a snowball into Hell," Murphy said as he headed for the door.
"Interesting analogy, which one is Laura supposed to be?" Bernice asked.
"She's a grown woman Bernice. I can't say I understand what the hell she sees in the guy, but she's going to have to either deal with it, or get it out of her system. Laura is a strong swimmer, I'm sure she won't drown if thrown in the deep end," Murphy waved goodbye.
###
Laura sat heavily in the nearest chair and crossed
her arms around her middle.
“Cut him some slack Laura, this is a big weekend
for him,”
“Big weekend?
Granted Mr. Weatherly is rather rotund, but I can’t see why Murphy can’t
just close the case and fly out and join me. What
could possibly be more important at the moment than this?” Laura snapped.
“Murphy professing his love.”
“Come again?”
“Janice, the woman he’s been dating, well
Murphy’s in love with her and he’s finally going to tell her how he feels.”
“Great, he’s blowing off hundreds of
thousands of dollars the agency could be getting to play Don Juan.”
“That
was uncalled for. Of course I’m happy for Murphy, really I am.”
Laura sat brooding for a few minutes before Bernice
broke the silence.
“What’s going on, Laura?”
“Huh?
Oh, nothing,” Laura said, absentmindedly.
“Hey, it’s me you’re talking to
remember? I can see the idea of having to ask
Mr. Wonderful to pose as your husband at a couples only resort has you a bit shaken.”
“No, it doesn’t. I just need another detective along. This is
the most important assignment we could get right now, Bernice. I just don't want to
blow it.”
“Bull, Laura.
You and I have had too many late night rap sessions for me to believe that lie. I remember only too well our conversation in your
office a few months ago, and my suggestion that you needed to get your teeth rattled. You act like you’re scared of being alone
with him. Who is it you don’t trust to
behave themselves, you or him?”
Laura was quiet for several seconds before she answered. “Both.”