This story is intended for amusement purposes only. This story is not meant to infringe on the names of Remington Steele, Laura Holt or anything that would cause MTM productions or anybody else to sue me. This story is the property of Lisa Watson ã 2000.

 

Steele In The Darkness - Part IV

   

    Mildred could feel her legs buckling and instinctively reached out for the closest support she could find, Remington's hand.  She felt his fingers enclose around her own and she noticed that they were cold and clammy.  They both continued to stare at the doctor as if by some remote chance they hadn't heard him correctly.

    "Did...Did you...doctor, did you say that Laura may never see again?  That can't be, it can't be."  Remington said absentmindedly, his thoughts already going toward how he'd ever summon the courage to tell Laura she may never see again.

    "Yes Mr. Steele, I'm afraid so.  Miss Holt should be awake and able to receive the news tomorrow, I'd like to have our specialists speak with her tomorrow, a counselor will be on hand as well."

    "I want to be there when she hears the news doctor.  I have to be there," Remington said in a weak voice.  "Can I see her now?"  

    "She'll be asleep but yes, if you'd like.  You may both see her but I'd prefer that it be one at a time.  Well, that's all I can tell you at the moment, now if you'll excuse me, I've got rounds to make."  He shook Remington and Mildred's hand and left.

    Remington made sure Mildred was alright before he went in to see Laura.  He went to her bed and sat down in the chair next to it.  She was still unconscious and she was bandaged in various places, the biggest being the bandage that was wrapped around her eyes.  Remington picked up her hand and held it in his, he closed his eyes and tried to remember a time when her hand hadn't felt so lifeless and cold.  Remington wasn't sure how long he just sat looking at her but his back was starting to hurt from the effort.  He stood up, stretched then leaned over and kissed Laura softly on the lips.

    "I'll be back tomorrow to see you darling."  Remington said knowing full well that she couldn't hear him but needing to say it anyway.

    He went back out to where Mildred was waiting and sat down next to her.  "Are you going in to see her Mildred?"  Remington asked.

    "Actually Chief I think I'll save my visit till the morning, she's probably had enough for one day.  I think I'll be heading home now to try to get some sleep." Mildred said as she stood and gathered her things.

    "Good idea luv, I'll see you home ok?"  Remington said as he helped Mildred into her coat.

    "Oh Boss that's not necessary I can get home just fine by myself."  Mildred insisted.

    "I know you can Mildred but I am going to see you home just the same."  Remington said as he guided her to the limo.

###

    Remington kicked his shoes off and put his feet on the coffee table.  He had poured himself a straight shot of scotch, something he didn't do very often but felt he needed tonight.  He closed his eyes and felt the liquid burn his throat going down.  He slowly opened his eyes and stared at the amber liquid as he swished it around in his glass.  How...How had it gone so wrong tonight.  He asked himself over and over.  Dammit!  He shouted aloud.  She shouldn't have gone off alone, I should have just stayed with her, I could have stopped her from getting hurt.  I could have protected her from getting hurt, she shouldn't be lying in that hospital bed, she shouldn't be in danger of losing her sight.  I should have been there for her.  The words tumbled over and over in his sleep deprived mind.  Remington stood up suddenly and hurled his glass at the fireplace.  The crash reverberated off every wall, the sound almost deafening in the dead silence of his apartment.  Without a backwards glance he strode into his bedroom, pulling off his smoke filled clothes and heading for the shower. 

    He took a long, hot shower trying to let the trauma of the night drain out of his body.  When he'd finished the smoke, soot and dirt were gone but the sorrow was still there.  He dried himself, grabbed a pair of silk pajama bottoms and put them on before laying down across the bed.  He hurt, all over and he knew there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.  His thoughts went again to Laura and stayed there.  He closed his eyes and felt hot tears trickle out from under his lids.  He would be there for her tomorrow.  He'd be as strong as she needed him to be.  He'd be her support system in every way he could be, but tonight...tonight was his and his alone and he let his guard down and conceded to his tears, his grief, his fright and his anger.

    Remington was bringing in a bouquet of flowers when Mildred was coming out of Laura's room.

    "Good morning Mildred, is our patient awake yet?"  Remington asked as Mildred stepped aside to let him enter. 

    "Yes she is boss, she's a bit out of it but the doctor said that is to be expected and the sedatives will wear off soon."

    Remington put the flowers on the table nearest to Laura's bed.  He knew she wouldn't be able to see them but at least she could smell them.  He sat down on her bed, picked her hand up and kissed it.  Laura's head came up and she managed a smile.

    "Somehow I don't think that's you Mildred."  Laura said weakly.

    "Somehow I think you are right my love.  How are you feeling?"   Remington asked her.

    "Like I just got hit by a steam roller...twice."  Laura said as she tried to sit up further in bed. 

    "Hey, don't over do it sweety, you've been to hell and back."  Mildred said as she came closer to the bed and started fussing over Laura.

    "Yes mam."  Laura said.  "Mildred, I may not be able to see through these bandages but I know you are fussing over me, will you please sit down?"   Laura smiled.

    "Remington, if the doctor is waiting for me to awaken before he takes these bandages off, would you tell him I'm up?"  Laura said.

    "Actually darling the doctor will be in shortly to talk with you.  Since you're up, I'll go see if he is ready now."  Remington said as he got up and headed toward the door.  He eyed Mildred who nodded grimly at him as he left.

###

    "So what you are trying so tactfully to tell me doctor is that I may have permanent loss of sight.  I may not see again, is that what you are saying to me?"  Laura asked calmly.

    "Yes Miss Holt, that is what I am saying to you.  We don't know for certain at this time, we will leave the bandages on for at least a week.  When we take them off, you will either begin seeing images or you won't.  If you don't, chances are you never will."

    Laura gasped slightly at that.  A week?  A week in these damn bandages before she would know whether she'd ever see again.  Somehow that didn't seem like hardly enough time to get used to the idea.

    "Doctor, is there any possibility that you could be mistaken about my diagnosis?"  Laura asked.

    "There is always a chance for error Miss Holt but I have consulted several specialists on your case and their diagnosis is the same.  We will have to wait and see what happens.  I'm sorry I can't give you better news than this." 

    "Well, I'm alive.  I suppose I should be thankful for that right?"   Laura said tightly.

    Remington went to put her hand in his but she pulled it away.  "Would you all excuse me for a while please?  I'd like to be alone right now."  Laura asked calmly.

    Remington exchanged looks with the doctor before getting up.  "Sure Laura, I'll be right outside ok?"  Remington said as he kissed her on the cheek.

    Laura listened to them leave, heard the door swing shut and then silence.  She waited another minute to be sure that she was totally alone before she broke down and cried.  She tried to be as quiet as she could, as in control of her grief as she could be, somehow it was too much for her to hold in.  It burst forth like a geyser and she could do nothing but succumb to her pent up emotions.  She huddled within herself and cried.  She was scared for the first time in a long time, truly and utterly frightened of a future without sight.  She didn't allow herself to think too much about what it all meant.  Right now she just let herself be taken by the sadness of what she'd just been told.  She felt the tears drench her bandages and still she cried. 

Remington stared at her through the glass window on her door.  Seeing her laying there in a ball crying so desolately ripped his heart out of his chest.  It was the most painful thing he'd ever had to watch and he could barely keep himself from sliding down the door to the floor in a heap and crying himself.  He put his hand up on the glass and stroked it almost as if he were touching her face.  She'd make it through this, she was a fighter.  It's one of the things he admired most about her, she'd fight this every step of the way.  He looked into her room again and watched her.  He vowed then and there he wouldn't fail her, he'd help her get through this.  And what if she couldn't walk down this new path fate may have chosen for her?  His conscious asked.  He answered himself without hesitation.  If she couldn't walk, dammit, he'd carry her down it!

To be continued...