Daniel look further down the meadow and motioned to Trevor. "That looks like a good spot my boy. What's say we take a breather and have a small repast?"
Trevor nodded and motioned his horse toward the spot Daniel had picked out. He reigned his horse in and jumped down. He walked over to Daniel's horse and held him steady while Daniel jumped down. Daniel smiled as he pulled a satchel and blanket off the back of his horse.
"I tell you Trevor, there are moments when I miss my youth terribly and getting off that horse at times is one of them," Daniel laughed as he made quick work of spreading out their picnic while Trevor tethered their horses.
Mrs. Waverly had prepared a small feast for them with all of Trevor's favorites. They had large ham & cheese sandwiches piled with lettuce, tomato and pickles, thick sliced potato chips, deep dish apple pie and chilled bottled water. For Daniel she had put in a shepherd's pie that was still warm from the oven, a small wedge of port wine cheese, a small loaf a fresh baked bread, some red wine and a few pieces of assorted fruits. As Daniel sank his teeth into the shepherd's pie he made a mental note to kiss Mrs. Waverly on the cheek upon his return. She was an excellent cook and Daniel was lucky to have her in his employ.
The two ate in companionable silence, each engrossed in their own thoughts. When they had eaten their fill they packed away the remains of lunch and lounged back against the large tree trunk. Daniel took out a pipe and lit it, inhaling deeply he cleared his throat and looked toward his grandson.
"Trevor, I know you and your father had a long talk while you were out this morning. He told me that he was going to tell you about his life growing up. I know that it was probably hard for you to hear but I wondered how you felt about it all,"
Trevor looked at his grandfather and back out over the meadow. "Honestly grandfather I was scared to death when dad took me to that awful section of town. It wasn't like anything I'd ever seen before, not even living in LA. I was even more floored when he told me that it was where he grew up, before he met you. I never thought dad came from that kind of life. I always assumed he was always that type of guy that he is now, just younger. I wouldn't have guessed where dad came from in a million years. I look at how I was acting now grandfather, how I let some stupid jerks from school rib me about my family being famous and rich and stuff. I see now it was dumb of me to try to fit in with a bunch of losers. I shouldn't have thought less of who I was and how I grew up just to belong to some group. My behavior was inexcusable grandfather, yet dad forgave me. I know I should apologize to mom and Traci for being disrespectful. I just hope they'll forgive me,"
Daniel patted his grandson on the back. "Oh of course they'll understand my boy, its not easy growing up, believe me I have seen first hand how important it is to fit in among one's peers,"
"I can't tell you how much I've regreted how your father was forced to grow up. I tried desperately for years to find him, to find out where he was, but I wasn't successful. His mother's family wanted nothing to do with me and they refused to help me find my son. I had just about given up hope of ever finding him when fate brought us together. I thank the Lord I found your father when I did Trevor. The problem was trying to undo all the hate and anger in him against his father. I wanted so much to tell him that I was indeed his father, he was just too angry for me to penetrate the wall he'd erected around himself. Finally, I decided it was best to just be his friend instead. I made sure I was there whenever he needed me, and discreetly around when he didn't. I know that probably wasn't the best choice to make but at the time it seemed the only way I would be able to keep him in my life. I grew to love your father as if not a day had gone by that we weren't together. It was years later that I finally told him the truth, then I thought for sure I would lose him all over again. He was so angry and upset, he felt betrayed and rightly so. Life hadn't been easy for him growing up, it had been hell on earth and to find out that his father had been under his nose some twenty years or so, well you can imagine how he felt. He came around though, he finally warmed up to the idea that I was truly his father. I wanted so much to be a part of his life that I would have done anything to stay in it. I think he realized that after awhile and forgave me. Now I'm about as blessed as I could have ever hoped for. I've the son I always wanted, two wonderful grandchildren and a daughter-in-law that has come to mean a great deal to me. I admit your mother and I didn't always see eye to eye, especially when it came to your father, but we mended our differences when they were married and I must say, we've developed quite a friendship between us. So there you have it Trevor, I just hope that you can understand how important family is to your father. He's gone from never having one to having the best one a man could ask for. I hope you realize just how important all of you are to him,"
Trevor looked at his grandfather and hugged him.
Daniel returned the hug and stood up, pulling Trevor with him. "I think it's time we got back dear boy and find out what your father's been up to while we've been gone,"
They packed up and headed back towards Daniel's house.
Remington slowly pulled his hand from Brianna's and back slowly up until his knees connected with a solid mass. He immediately sank into the chair. He felt as if he'd gotten the wind knocked out of him. He had trouble catching his breath and he couldn't quite focus on anything in particular. HIS MOTHER! Oh god, this had to be some kind of joke! He wasn't prepared for this he thought to himself as he ran shaky hands through his jet black hair. He closed his eyes and prayed for his sanity to return. His mother found a nearby chair and sat in it. She knew this wasn't the best way she could have done it but she was desperate and she couldn't put it off any longer.
"I'm sorry that I blurted it out the way I did, I'm not very good at putting things into words sometimes. I know this is a dreadful shock to you but I had to tell you, I just didn't know of a better way,"
She was wringing her hands in her lap begging him to look up from his hands. When Remington finally did look up she inwardly cringed at the anger she saw in his eyes. She braced herself for it, she expected him to have a reaction like this and she was prepared to deal with it.
"My mother is it? Why now? Why bother to tell me at all? How come you didn't just live the rest of your life without telling me the truth? I don't know you from Adam so why come to me now, out the blue and tell me that I am your son? Who the bloody hell are you anyway? Better yet, who the bloody hell AM I?" Remington railed at her as he stood up and walked across the room.
He hated himself for asking that last question but he had too know. He'd waited his whole life to know and if this woman was standing here claiming to be his mother than she would damn well tell him! He turned around and looked at her, he studied her intently for the first time. She stood up but didn't go to him, instead she let him scrutinize her. What he saw left him desolate and racked with pain. He was her image. He looked like a male version of her. She was tall for a woman, she had to be almost six feet, she had long jet black hair that was barely edged with gray, she was slim and carried herself proudly. He felt his eyes getting moist as he looked into her face. It was his face with only a few subtle differences. Her eyes were slightly lighter than his own, faded perhaps through the years but in her youth were probably identical. Why hadn't he seen it the moment he opened the door, he was the splitting image of this woman. He closed his eyes as if looking at her burned them.
"I've already told you my name, I grew up in Ireland near County Meath. I was the oldest of four children, my father was a farmer, as were most people in Ireland back then. I was sixteen years old when I met Daniel. He was passing through and didn't plan on staying long. He had a friend in our town, Mitchell O'Keefe that he was stopping with. I was walking home from town one day when he saw me. He spoke to me but my mother pulled me along before I could return his greeting. She told me that he was a foreigner and that I wasn't to have anything to do with him. She said she knew his type and they were always up to no good. He was in the military and that was enough in my mothers opinion to stay clear of him. She said his type always went from place to place having their fun with the local girls and leaving them high and dry, usually pregnant to boot. I didn't give it another thought until a few weeks later. One of my sisters and I were picking up some goods from town when I saw him again. He spoke to me again and this time I spoke back. He bid me to stop and chat but I refused, I didn't want my sister telling my mother anything that would get me into trouble,"
"It started out innocently enough at first. I would see him around town and he would always speak to me. Your father was charming, dashing and was full of stories of his travels around the world. It was so fascinating for me, listening to him recount the places he'd been, the things he'd seen. I'd never been out of Ireland, didn't know anything other than the small place we lived. It was all so exciting for me. She looked at him to gauge his reaction to her story. He was listening but his expression was unreadible. She took a breath and continued. Before either of us knew it, we were seeing each other all the time. I would make up reasons to go into town, just to see him, talk to him. Before long I knew I was in love with Daniel and he with me. I was so incredibly happy being with him, I was also terrified of what my father would say. Daniel asked me to marry him, he said he'd take me with him and we would be happy together. He loved me and wanted to be with me forever. I was so excited that I said yes immediately. I knew my parents would never allow it and I told him so but he assured me that they would eventually get used to the idea. He wanted to come home with me and tell my parents himself. I told him that I didn't think it was a good idea, that maybe I should be the one to tell them. Your father insisted that he be the one so one evening he knocked on our door and asked to speak with my father. My mother ushered us into the bedroom while they talked with Daniel,"
"At first I thought all was going well since I didn't hear anything but normal conversation, I was wrong. Finally I hear my father shouting and my mother telling him to lower his voice. I heard my father shout my name and I quickly went to see what he wanted. He asked me if I had been meeting with Daniel, I told him I had, he asked me if what Daniel told him was true, if he had asked me to marry him. I told him it was and that I wanted to be his wife. My father exploded. He screamed that he would never accept your father's marriage proposal. That I would never be allowed to marry some englishman, especially not one in the military. He refused to listen to Daniel anymore and ordered him out of the house and for me never to see him again. I cried out that I loved him and that I wanted to marry him but that didn't sway my father, it made him angrier and he slapped me. He told me he wouldn't stand for his own daughter raising her voice in his house. Daniel stepped in and tried to reason with my father. My father pushed Daniel and told him to get out of his house before he shot him. Daniel told him he wasn't leaving without me, he and my father struggled and he pushed my father. I begged them to stop, my mother did as well but my father was beyond reason. He left the room and came back with his gun. He threatened to shot Daniel if he didn't leave. I screamed and jumped in front of your father telling my father that I was going to leave with Daniel and that we were going to be married. My father tried to pull me back and Daniel grabbed his arm, they struggled at the gun went off,"
"I remember screaming Daniel's name as he and my father went tumbling to the ground. It was my father who got hurt. It was just a flesh wound, it wasn't serious but he was livid with Daniel. I pulled Daniel up and told my mother I was leaving. My father told me if I left his house I would never be welcome there again and that he would disown me, that I would never again be his daughter. I left without looking back, I heard my mother screaming my name but I refused to leave your father because I loved him and couldn't imagine life without him. I left Ireland that night, with only the clothes on my back. I didn't know how we were going to make it but your father assured me we would. We got to Dublin and from there we sailed back to England. We were married there by special license a few days later. I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life and Daniel tried to make me as comfortable as he could. He didn't make much money but we survived. He rented us a small cottage in the country and I was content. He was called to service a few months later, he received word that he would be leaving in a few days. It was only enough time to get all his things together and for him to make sure I would be looked in on occasionally by an elderly couple down the road. Your father left me with money to pay the rent and buy whatever goods I needed and then he had to go,"
"It was beyond hard for me to see him leave but I assured him I would be just fine in his absence. He promised he'd write me as soon as he knew where he'd be. A few weeks later I did receive a letter from him telling me how to get word to him and he sent me money to make sure I got on without him. It was a short time later that I realized I was pregnant. I was elated beyond words that I was carrying Daniel's child. I wrote him as soon as I knew for certain that I was pregnant. He was able to send me a letter a few weeks later and he was thrilled beyond words. He wrote that he was as happy as any man could be and that he was terribly sorry not to be there with me. He wasn't sure exactly how long he'd be on active duty but that he would try his best to get stationed closer to home and away from the fighting. He told me he'd sent money directly to the couple he'd rented our cottage from to explain the situation to them and to pay for a few months in advance. I told him that I could go in to town and find a job but he wouldn't hear of it. So there I was, pregnant and with a husband that was in the military off fighting in a battle. I tried not to be worried but I was always praying for his letters to keep coming. I saw the elderly couple a few times a week, they were wonderful people and they didn't have any children of their own so they welcomed the company. Things were going along well enough until I stopped receiving your father's letters,"
"I was frantic with worry, it had been a few months before I received a letter from your father's regiment. It indicated that your father was missing and presumed dead, there was no additional information they could give me at the time but they suggested that I make suitable arrangements. I didn't know what to do! I was without a husband, no family and due to have a baby at any moment. I knew Daniel wasn't dead, I could feel it in my soul. I wrote letter after letter to his superior officer's demanding to know more but there wasn't anymore they could tell me. They were still sending a stipend from Daniel's salary but it wasn't enough to make ends meet. I set out to find a job in town but there wasn't anyone that would hire me. I had nowhere to turn, I couldn't go back to Ireland, as far as my father was concerned he didn't have a daughter named Brianna. The elderly couple down the road felt terrible for me, they offered to help me as much as they could. I finally had to give up our cottage because I couldn't pay the rent. If it weren't for the Bennington's I would have been homeless, they took me in and helped me as best they could. A few weeks after I'd been living with them I went into labor. They were able to get me to the hospital and waited there until you were born. I had an agonizing labor and was in terrible pain but you came out just fine. You were a healthy baby boy born on June 7th and I named you Daniel Colin Chalmers. You weren't a junior but I knew your father would approve. I wasn't able to leave the hospital until a few days later but the Bennington's helped me take care of you,"
"It was a cold rainy day six months later that I was home with you waiting for the Bennington's to return. They'd gone to London to visit Mrs. Bennington's sister. It was getting late and I was wondering what was keeping them when there was a knock on the door. There was a man there, he'd come down from London to tell me that there had been an accident. Mr. & Mrs. Bennington had been involved in a terrible car accident and had been killed. Mrs. Bennington's sister knew I'd been staying with them so she asked a friend of hers to come to the country to let me know. I didn't know where to turn, their house would be sold off and I had thirty days to vacate the premises. I was given a few pounds by their solicitor to find other accomodations. I had nowhere to go so I took what little money I had left and went to London. I found a cheap flat and took odd house cleaning jobs. It wasn't enough to pay a sitter to take care of you and keep us clothed and fed. I knew I needed help, I wrote to my mother and begged her to let me come home. I didn't get a reply until some time later. She told me my father flatly refused to help me but she did give me the name and address of one of her relatives that lived in London. I went to see her immediately, she seemed nice enough but she made it clear that she wouldn't be able to take us in. She suggested I put you up for adoption to a stable family that would be able to take care of you better than I could,"
"I didn't want to do it but I knew I'd never be able to care for you properly on my own so I went to the agency she spoke of, I met with the woman that owned the agency, I told her my situation and she gave me every assurance that if I placed you up for adoption that you'd be properly taken care of and loved by a well established family that could give you emotional and financial security. I did it because I thought it would be better for you. I loved you desperately and didn't want to be parted from you, you were all that I had left of the love I shared with Daniel, you meant the world to me, I couldn't bare to see you not have all that I wanted for you but at the time couldn't give to you. It broke my heart but I gave you up to a couple that I met and that didn't have any children of their own. They seemed to be a warm, loving couple, I thought you'd have all that I couldn't give you. I left right after, I knew I couldn't stay there and know that my child was close by so I moved back to Ireland. I tried to visit my family but my father still wanted nothing to do with me so I stayed with my mother's parents instead. I told my grandparents everything that had happened, about marrying Daniel, moving to England, getting pregnant and having you and about Daniel's dissapearance. They understood and wanted to help me as much as they could. Finally with their encouragement and support I traveled back to England to find you. I went to the adoption agency to find out where you were but it had been shut down. I went to the address that I had for the couple that adopted you but they had moved. I tried every possible way I knew to try and track you down but I couldn't get any information,"
"I would follow a lead only to have it end up in dissapointment. I thought when I gave you up that you would be loved and taken care of, I didn't think for one moment that you'd be bounced around from place to place without anywhere to call home. I eventually left Ireland and moved to England. With money from my grandparents I was able to find a quiet place in the country to live and I eventually opened up an antique shop. Your father loved antiques and I suppose I got the idea from him. I'd lost the husband I loved enough to give up my family for and the son I had desperately wanted but wasn't able to care for. I decided to live my life alone, I never remarried because I could never find anyone to take Daniel's place in my heart and the thought of having other children to me would be a constant reminder of the one I'd given up and lost. So I buried myself in my antique shop, it was my only solace. It wasn't until recently that Daniel and I met again. Aparently a friend of his recommended he come to my shop to find a particular piece of furniture he'd been searching for. When he came through my shop door I thought I was seeing a ghost. I would have recognized him anywhere and I fainted on the spot. When I came to I was in my office on the couch and Daniel was hovering over me. I thought I had died and been reunited with him. He was just as shocked to see me as I was to see him. He hadn't been killed in action, he had been taken prisoner and held for years before he was released,"
"He told me he came back to where we'd lived to find me gone without a trace. He tried to find me, he went back to Ireland and my mother told him that I was staying with my grandparents. They told him that I'd given you up for adoption and was unsuccessful in finding you. They told him I'd moved but didn't know where I'd gone. He told me he searched for me but to no avail, to think that we lost all these years of being together, being a family. Daniel told me that eventually he did meet you, he told me the story of how he met you, he said he knew just by looking at you that you were his son but that he couldn't bring himself to tell you the truth until much later. And now he and I have found each other again and the story of our tragedy is now, after all these years, fully explained. I knew I had to tell you the truth son, I begged Daniel to let me be the one to tell you, he didn't know I was going to come here today but when he told me you had come to England, I had to see you. I wanted you to finally know the truth about your past, to finally know that you were loved, that I had thought I was doing the right thing when I gave you up, only to find out now how wrong that decision was, how I should have kept you with me no matter what,"
"I wanted you to know that you have a name, you have a birthday, you had two parents that were married and loved each other enough to have created you. Daniel and I recently found each other again and we are trying to sort out all the pieces of the time we've lost. I wanted to tell you how much I regret what happened to you, we both do, but I am the one responsible, it was my choice and I made the wrong one. I hope at some point and time in your life you will be able to forgive me for causing you so much pain," Brianna finished sadly.
Remington saw the tears falling from her face and felt tears run unchecked down his own. He didn't know what to say, what to think or how to respond to all he'd just heard. Every question he'd ever wanted answered about his past was now answered. The story of his past was now complete but he just didn't know how to handle all that he'd been told. He'd built up such resentment, such hostility toward his parents for the life he should have had and didn't, he just didn't know how to deal with the truth now that he knew it. He looked at his mother, his mother.
It still had a weird sound when his brain tried to say it. He needed space, he needed time and right now he needed Laura. Remington felt himself backing away but was helpless to stop himself. He heard his voice utter something about needing air but he couldn't be sure. He saw the pained look on his mother's face but he also so understanding. She knew he couldn't digest all of what she'd told him now and understood his need to retreat. He left the drawing room and headed for one of Daniel's cars. He needed to get out of here and now! He got behind the wheel and pulled off, driving to no destination in particular. He reached down and hit the speaker for Daniel's mobile phone. He deftly dialed a string of numbers and waited. When he heard her voice he thought he'd crack with relief.
"Laura?" He croaked into the air.
Laura was instantly alert. "Remington? Is that you? What's wrong?"
Remington pulled the car to a stop and parked. He just couldn't concentrate on driving anymore. He leaned his head against the wheel and tried to fight back the emotion that threatened to unravel him.
"Laura, I...I...I've just spoken with my mother," There, he'd said it, finally!
Laura released the breath she'd been holding and spoke clearly into the receiver. "Remington, we're on our way."